My advice to you is to close this browser tab and read something else. Seriously. I’m warning you. OK. You asked for it. Yesterday, my bowel movement smelled like it was burning. Like smoke was literally coming out of my asshole. Being a connoisseur of my own bouquet, if you will, I have come to […]Read More The Fire Within
I live in the Commonwealth of Virginia. They sell Powerball here. I buy two tickets a week. The odds of winning the jackpot are 1 in 292,201,338. You wanna know what’s more likely to happen? Getting hit by lightning: 1 in 10,000,000 Becoming an astronaut: 1 in 12,000,000 Being killed in a terrorist attack on an […]Read More I’m Not Playing The Lottery. I’m Reading Tiny Novels.
In order to fulfill our mission to be a transparent, customer focused organization, we promise to adhere to the following Ten Commandments. – WMATA Management Your train will be waiting at the platform until one of our spotters notices you and then it will be dispatched as soon as you can see it in the […]Read More The 10 (WMATA) Metro Commandments
I had a typical self-indulgent super long post all loaded up but it just wasn’t up to my exacting standards. So I am posting this movie review of the famous “classic” (piece of shit) West Side Story. I watched it as part of my project to watch every AFI Top 100 (American) Movies of All […]Read More West Side Story: I Hate this Movie with the Fire of a Thousand Suns
(Being rerun for banal reasons) I’m just so grateful to be out of hell – to be alive again- I don’t think I’ve ever been grateful or even understood what it meant to be grateful or even used the word grateful- but I get it now. Better late than never right? UPDATE: I don’t feel […]Read More Purgatory Rocks (rerun)