Abattoir (2016) (mini-review++)

(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)

(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)

acting 1

directing 1

effects 1

editing 1

writing 1


0.5 out of 5 🐙


Merriam-Webster.com defines “Abattoir” as “a place where animals are butchered.”I just wanted you to know what it meant since it’s a strange-looking word. I don’t have anything to say about this movie. The only thing I’ve been thinking about is whether I would rather watch a video of an actual slaughterhouse instead of this movie. But I couldn’t watch animals be murdered. I’d rather watch this murder the careers of everyone involved in it. 
I’m trying to think of something nice to say because filmmaking is a collaborative and very difficult art form. 
The opening credits are pretty nice. 







(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.

(2) Octopuses (0-5 🐙, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)

(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feeling…not that SW score is scientific…but this one is even less so

(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)





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