Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) (mini-review++)

(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)

(all-purpose SPOILER ALERT there may be some in this review)

acting 6

directing 7

effects 9

editing 8

writing 6


3 out of 5 🐙


I loved the shit out of this movie when it came out. Granted, I was 17 and my taste in movies had not yet developed to its current abhorrent state. But I picked it up recently and re-watched it and Edward Furlong’s performance ruins the entire film for me. And I think Edward Furlong is capable of excellent acting. I thought he was fantastic in American History X. But while James Cameron is generally a solid director who gets fine performances from his actors, Furlong and he did not connect well here.

The effects were best in class at the time. They were astounding. So many movies that followed blatantly stole them. And that’s cool. All artists steal whether they are aware of it or not.

And finally, while the Terminator franchise doesn’t rely on time travel as a constant conceit throughout each individual movie (like it is used in The Edge of Tomorrow or in every 5th episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation), it still does setup every sequel in the franchise. That’s the fucking problem with time travel. They can just make endless sequels because all they have to do is say “just before X, the bad guys sent another bad guy back in the past to do evil. And I actually think the Terminator franchise keeps a relatively cromulent level of entertainment. It’s not flying close to the sun like the singular Toy Story franchise or the fantastic John Wick trilogy. But it’s entertaining. Even the worst Terminator joint is ok. That’s a lot better than you can say about the majority of Star Wars sequels.

All in all, this movie and I did not age well. And neither of us have been able to find a real time machine to undo all the deterioration.







(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.

(2) Octopuses (0-5 🐙, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)

(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feeling…not that SW score is scientific…but this one is even less so

(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)

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