(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)
(all-purpose SPOILER ALERT there may be some in this review)
SW SCORE: 40
4 out of 5 🐙
This was a quantum jump in effects. It was what Star Wars did to the effects landscape in 1977. I didn’t know movies could do this. I didn’t know movies could look like this. Its effects might seem pedestrian by today’s standards but they really were a revelation back in the day. Besides that, a sound, fun, and simply fantastic story centered around resurrected dinosaurs spoke to the child inside me. And I’m sure it spoke to the kid inside a lot of adults not to mention the actual kids in 1993. There are few things that captivate kids more than dinosaurs. Maybe it is because they are so big. Maybe it is because they look like creatures out of fantasy novels but they actually really existed. Maybe it is because they look like they could eat us for breakfast? The acting performances are fine – nothing to rave about but perfectly cromulent. Wayne Knight and Jeff Goldblum steal every scene they are in. But they pretty much do that in any production they grace with their unique charisma. The story isn’t anything special either: human hubris leads to chaos. Really, it is all about Michael Crichton’s deeply satisfying and enervating setup: Dinosaurs Alive Today! It’s a headline my cinematic heart will never forget.
(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.
(2) Octopuses (0-5 🐙, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)
(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feeling…not that SW score is scientific…but this one is even less so
(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)