Batman (1989) (mini-review++)

b(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)

(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)

acting 6

directing 6

effects 6

editing 6

writing 6


3 out of 5 🐙


If you had asked the 16-year-old version of me to rank this movie, I probably would have given it 10 out of 10 for each subcategory and a resounding perfect 50. You have to understand. The last mainstream comic book movie was Superman IV: The Quest for Peace in 1987 which is one of the worst comic book movies ever made. Tim BUrton’s natural dark aesthetic was perfect for Gotham’s favorite hero. The effects at the time were top notch but they look silly now. The tone wasn’t quite the super camp of the Adam West’s tv series but it is still far too campy for the current vibe people expect from the Dark Knight. It just feels silly and awkward now. I have nothing but love for Michael Keaton and I can’t really assault Jack Nicholson for playing the Joker the way he did. He was probably directed to do so. But Jack’s Joker just comes off as silly. It just doesn’t hold up.







(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.

(2) Octopuses (0-5 🐙, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)

(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feeling…not that SW score is scientific…but this one is even less so

(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)


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