Hollywood: Rotten Tomatoes Is Not The Problem

The following is a compilation of 3 mini-reviews of what I think are three of the most overrated films of 2017. And my complaint is against their rotten tomatoes percentage. It’s weird. A lot of the industry doesn’t like RT because they feel they have contributed to the decline in ticket sales. Of course, they are proud to publicize a high percentage. But they don’t think the bad percentages are fair. Y’all can’t have it both ways. I’d argue that RT is bringing MORE people to the movies because they consistently pump up movies with percentages that are inflated and cause unrealistic expectations for moviegoers.

And I hardly think Rotten Tomatoes calling shit movies out for being shitty is the main thing affecting the box office take. The movie experience is the main problem (and I see 2 movies a week so I’m in there all the damn time).

The modern movie experience is very dependent on what theater you are in. There are the big characterless chains that only carry mainstream fare and are usually packed with teenagers (who are all terrible and even more so when they assemble). You go to a movie at that kind of theater and besides the sounds emanating from the theater, you will hear constant chattering and phones ringing and you’ll see the lights of people texting all the time. Not to mention movie theaters are getting more and more expensive.

Thankfully a lot of theaters that cater to adults (more interesting concessions, more comfortable seats, more indie movie choices). He adults aren’t entirely quiet or texting free either. Rude behavior has spread across most ages nowadays. People are just rude assholes. But the theaters that cater to adults have a significantly lower annoyance factor.

What I’m trying to say is that the real reason people are not going to the movies as much is because it’s a shitty experience often. And the quality of the movies is very poor overall. Too many formulaic sequels and comic book based movies (of which I see them all, for the record). So few original stories anymore. So much dumbing down of dialogue for the international box office. Hollywood has made strides to make the experience better with adult-centered theaters but the issue of movie quality is still dominant.

Don’t be pissed that most of your movies get shitty rotten tomatoes percentages if you keep making shitty movies.

#goingtothemovies #movies #texting #talkingduringthemovie #assholes #teenagers #butirepeatmyself #teens

Besides my tweets (the mini-reviews themselves), I’ve also added some bonus content which I’m sure you’ve all been clamoring for.

I hope y’all are having a cool Saturday!






Call Me By Your Name

The tweet:

CNBYN: 4 acting, 0 story, 3 directing, N/A effects, 5 editing. SW SCORE: 12 Special: Critcs LOVED this. It made me angry. Oh the problems of rich, academic elites in their Italian villa. + a ridiculous portrayal of parents. 0 (out of 5) octopuses. #Callmebyyourname #MovieReview


#overrated #terriblemovie

Bonus content:

I have been watching movies for roughly 38 years. I’ve walked out of 1 (because it was making me physically ill). I had to fight my entire body and soul and heart to stay in my seat. It was a rare victory for my rational mind who insisted there just might be something good in this movie.

My mind apologized to my body, heart, and soul and now has dishwashing duties for the next month and isn’t allowed to talk during movies anymore.

I don’t have any idea what those critics were thinking. But then again most critics, myself included, are douchebags.

Phantom Thread

The tweet:

PhantomThread: 8 acting, 3 story, 2 directing, N/A effects, 6 editing. SW SCORE: 19 Special: Critics jizzed.DDL brings it but the tortured artist bit has been done to death. He deserves a better last movie. PTA can’t direct any more. 2 (out of 5) octopi. #phantomthread #MovieReview


#paulthomasanderson #danieldaylewis #swansong #boogienights #punchdrunklove


Bonus content:

I had absolutely no desire to see this movie. I’ve seen this premise so many goddamn times that I think it’s the artists who are torturing me. I saw it out of respect for Daniel Day Lewis and his body of work. His performance was fine but not one any film class will ever discuss when going over his acting roles. It was forgettable. I was even more wary of watching this shit because Paul Thomas Anderson directed it. The last movie this dipshit directed that was watchable was Punch Drunk Love and that was 15 years ago. I don’t know how he pulled off Boogie Nights. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some bitter first assistant director bartending in the valley because he didn’t get his fair props. Granted I’m not going to actually look up the first AD but I just hate PTA’s last 15 years of work so much.

The only good thing about this film was DDL’s love interest performance. Vicky Krieps was strong and plucky and warm all at once.


The tweet:

Ladybird: 7 acting, 5 story, 6 directing, N/A effects, 7 editing. SW SCORE: 25 Special: famously had a 100% fresh rating on rotten tomatoes. In reality more like an 80%. See #Juno for a real GREAT female teen lead coming of age movie. 3.5 (out of 5) octopi. #ladybird #MovieReview



Bonus Content:

I wrote a whole post about how the rotten tomatoes rating system is messed up:

Look I’m not hating on this movie in and of itself. It was a perfectly above average indie comedy. Nothing to write home about. I’m sure there are some critics who would rate it 100 out of 100 (this makes sense if you read the referenced post above). But I bet there are plenty who would rate it a 75 out of 100. But in the RT world, those both simply count as “fresh”. These are not identical tomatoes. One is much fresher than the other.

It absolutely is not a 100% movie.

UPDATE: it’s now sitting at 99% but that’s still grossly too high.

I’ll give you a few examples of some ACTUALLY incredible movies and their RT score percentage:

The Godfather – 98%

Pulp Fiction – 94%

The Princess Bride – 97%

Mad Max: Fury Road – 97%

Almost Famous – 89%

Logan – 93%

Harvey – 84%

I could go on and on but you get my belabored point. Lady Bird is not in the same ballpark as these films. It’s not even in the same sport.

#rottentomatoes #algorithm #binaryisnotoptimal

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