(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)
(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)
3.5 out of 5 🐙
I am struggling to remember a movie I disliked watching more than Room. Maybe Call Me By Your Name. Maybe Requiem for a Dream. While I understand the vast majority of critics and people loved these films, I can’t join their appreciation. While Larson’s acting was excellent, it did little to distract me from the reality that this was one of the more unpleasant 2 hours I’ve spent watching a film. yes, I get that a story about an abducted woman imprisoned is not supped to be Dumb and Dumber but the sheer lack of moments of joy just sent me into a depressive rage spiral. I had to watch Office Space afterward to cleanse my soul. It reminded a lot of Darren Aronofosky’s catalog: all about elicting one feeling from the viewer: unhappiness. The great films, even the dark and deadly ones, have moments of light. In Room, these moments come so seldom that I was wishing I had spent two hours abducted rather than having had watched this. While I didn’t enjoy 99% of the film, I understood it and I believe it to be plausible. The only grotesque moment for me was the unspeakably cruel television interviewer. Who could be that base and mean? I’m a gigantic asshole and even I wouldn’t stoop that low.
(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.
(2) Octopuses (0-5 🐙, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)
(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feeling…not that SW score is scientific…but this one is even less so
(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)