Appleseed Alpha (2014) (mini-review++)

AppleSeedAlpha_trailer.jpg(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)

(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)

acting 5

directing 5

effects 8

editing 7

writing 6


3.1 out of 5 🐙


It felt like I was watching a really long story setup intro video for a big release PC or console game. I don’t know any of the proper terms for those things since I’m not a gamer but the animation, while interesting, felt cheap in places, especially the human characters. It was lovingly rendered in others but the humans just stood out like technological duds, aesthetic-wise. The cyborgs were dope, though. And the action set pieces and creatures and world building was solid as well. But something just felt low rent about the whole movie. I can’t really put my finger on it. It really, again, just felt too much like an Uber-video game. I need my movies, even my direct-to-video ones, to feel like movies.







(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.

(2) Octopuses (0-5 🐙, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)

(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feeling…not that SW score is scientific…but this one is even less so

(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)


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