The Cider House Rules (1999) (mini-review++)

cider.jpg(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)

(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)

acting 7

directing 7

effects 7

editing 7

writing 8


3.5 out of 5 🐙


I love John Irving’s novels. And I’m lockstep with the not-so-subtle message of the film. I don’t usually like to include politics in my movie talk but it’s kinda hard to avoid with this particular film. Tobey Maguire is his usual polished self. Charlize Theron is strong. Delroy Lindo is evil but in his always charismatic way. Michael Caine is…well…Michael Caine. It’s not a complicated story. It’s not a complicated issue…at least not to me. But it is complicated to a great many people. I wouldn’t say it presents both sides of this issue evenly and I for one am very glad about that.







(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.

(2) Octopuses (0-5 🐙, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)

(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feeling…not that SW score is scientific…but this one is even less so

(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)


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