(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)
(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)
SW SCORE: 42
4.2 out of 5 🐙
It’s a tale as old as time. Well, it’s a type tale that’s as old as Hollywood. Hollywood LOVES the story about the retired (lawman, assassin, mobster, <some kind of badass>) who has quietly retired to civilian life but through no fault of their own, s DRAGGED back into the violence because evil forces unfairly (always unfairly) invade his new quiet life. Don’t get me wrong. It’s used a lot because it’s a lot of fun. David Cronenberg delivers his taut, raw, striking style to this milieu. And as a bonus, I think it includes one of the hottest AND most realistic sex scenes ever done in cinema. The fact that he delivered hot and realistic in the same scene is remarkable. Viggo Mortensen, the real man of steel(-iness), smolders and exudes confidence and subatomic danger as the protagonist. It’s such a spare film but it does so much, flexing its lean muscles.
(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.
(2) Octopuses (0-5 🐙, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)
(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feeling…not that SW score is scientific…but this one is even less so
(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)