On Golden Pond (1981) (mini-review++)

ong.jpg(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)

(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)

acting 7

directing 6

effects 6

editing 5

writing 5


2.9 out of 5 🐙


There are some sublime moments in this film. But they are drowned out (sorry, I can’t resist a pun) by wholly ordinary moments that would not be out of place in a generic after school special. Look, Henry and Jane Fonda and Katherine Hepburn are all master actors. But they hardly had anything to work within this film. The dialogue was paltry and the story was predictable.







(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.

(2) Octopuses (0-5 🐙, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)

(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feeling…not that SW score is scientific…but this one is even less so

(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)


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