The Piano (1993) (mini-review++)


(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)

(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)

The mini-review:

The Piano

acting 9

directing 7

effects 7

editing 7

writing 7


3.7 out of 5 šŸ™


When I saw this, I was a young man, only 19 years old. I am old. The 2nd sentence was redundant, I know. But I remember thinking: ‘Man, that little kid can act!’ I know. Edgy take, right? Not every child actor amounts to anything so I just want to applaud Anna Pacquin for her long and fine career. Back to the movie. So it’s basically a baroque take on Lady Chatterley’s Lover? I mean, that’s a good book and all. And this film is definitely its own story. The bizarre cruelty and double-edged ending spin this affair between Baines (Harvey Keitel) and Ada (Holly Hunter) to a heartbreaking new level. Just don’t go into this looking to get uplifted.




Review process: (this is always evolving, I’m sad to say. I’m more of a watcher who makes mostly unhelpful observations about things I have absorbed. I am not unlike a pop culture blob.)

Two scores are assigned: (I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me)

(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.

(2) Octopuses (0-5 šŸ™, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)

(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feelingā€¦not that SW score is scientificā€¦but this one is even less so

(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)

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