Royal Rumble: DCEU versus MCU

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One of my favorite things is to ponder theoretical battles between imaginary characters. As usual, the Who Would Win podcast presented another fun scenario:

There are a lot of factors to consider. Who fights who? What version of each combatant do you go with? Where do they fight?

Let’s start with a lazy summary of each fighter’s weaknesses. Why weaknesses? We’re dealing with 8 mostly invulnerable beings so this is much easier for me to wrap my mind around this rumble:

Lobo: magic: “…at other occurrences has had his skin penetrated by bullets and had only some resistance against most magic spells and attacks.” This is always an issue when you have multiple writers interpreting popular characters. Does this mean Lobo can be taken out with a 9mm handgun? Almost certainly not. Does it mean a low-level wizard could humble him? Almost certainly not. But it gives us a slight opening. (1)

Mongul: great power: “…great amounts of power are capable of seriously wounding him.” Not very specific but it certainly means he is not invincible. (3)

Doomsday: “…certain radiation exposure can harm him.” Again, not very specific but it certainly means he is not invincible. Also, an infuriated Superman did tear him in half once which killed him. (5)

Superman: kryptonite, magic, and “high energy attacks or radiation”. I don’t think ANY comic book fan is unaware of Superman’s most famous weakness. (7)

Hulk: mind control, magic, the power cosmic, gods (2)

Juggernaut: “…only weaknesses are psionics and mysticism…Mystical artifacts have also been able to cause him extreme physical damage; however, neither of these can cause Juggernaut any permanent physical or mental damage.” (4)

Apocalypse: “Despite his accelerated healing, he could still be damaged to the point of being obliterated.” (6)

Thor: high-level spells, magic weaponry. (8)

So where are these guys gonna fight? A solar system with a red sun? That’s no fair to Superman. We need a neutral spot where none of these guys can escape. Though these aren’t the kind of guys who retreat very easily. Let’s ask Q from Star Trek: The Next Generation to fashion a Phantom Zone type place. Well, shoot, if it can hold Doomsday, why not just use the Phantom Zone itself?

Who fights who? If it was a swirling Royal Rumble type format, I would lose my mind trying to calculate all the variables and possibilities. Certain matchups might be easier to call so if I was a DC apologist, I could set it up so that DC wins all four matches right away which is kinda boring. So I’m going to make it a tournament bracket with completely random seeds (using a random number generator – see those handy dandy numbers after the description of each fighter’s weaknesses).

Let’s get ready to rumble.

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Lobo versus Apocalypse: Apocalypse and Lobo are both roughly 99% invulnerable. A figure with epic magical abilities could take Lobo out. Apocalypse has none but he has Celestial technology which probably cancels out Lobo’s Czarninan technology (both are “Best In Universe” class). They both regenerate at incredible rates. Lobo has superhuman speed and Apocalypse has mind control. Lobo is arrogant and impulsive so I’m saying Apocalypse can temporarily dull Lobo’s mind enough to barrage him with matter manipulation to the point where he is immobilized. Consider it a TKO.

Superman versus Juggernaut: There’s no kryptonite so Superman is going to have to put hands on Juggernaut. No biggie. While Juggernaut does have superhuman speed, it is nowhere near as fast as Superman’s speed (which is Flash level). Superman can rip off Juggernaut’s helmet and, wait for it, kiss Jugg and wipe out his memory. While momentarily confused, Superman can hypnotize Juggernaut into literally laying down and taking a nap. Consider it another TKO.

Doomsday versus Thor: An infuriated Superman once killed Doomsday by tearing him in half. Thor can go into Warrior Madness which increases his already top-level powers to an unmatchable level. And, you probably can see where I’m going, tear Doomsday in half.

Mongul versus Hulk: Mongul is mad cocky so he might start fighting the Hulk physically. Though it would eventually become apparent that the Hulk was just getting stronger. Mongul can also project horrifying illusions into others’ minds but that would just make the Hulk stronger. But he can also use his conversion them to a member of his cult, effectively turning the Hulk into a follower.

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Apocalypse versus Superman: Apocalypse can summon high-energy attacks so that would hurt Superman. But in a battle of near invulnerable beings, Superman’s legendary will and Flash-like speed could destroy Apocalypse’s physical form over and over again until Apocalypse did not have one atom left to regenerate. I know Superman doesn’t want to kill anyone but he has done it before and Apocalypse would make it clear that he wasn’t seeking some noble victory.

Thor versus Mongul: Great sources of power are able to severely wound Mongul. Thor’s energy powers and the fact that he is literally the very embodiment of energy and can summon it at will, not to mention he has two magical weapons that safely outclass any weapon Mongul might have, tip this battle to Odinson.

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Thor versus Superman: One of Superman’s established weaknesses is magic. Thor is literally the 2nd most powerful deity of Asgard, home of the most powerful magic, or at the very least “Best In Universe” class. Neither of these stand-up guys would kill the other but it would be Odin’s kid extending his hand to help the son of Jor-el up off the ground after a ten count.

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