Gladiator (2000) (mini-review++)


(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)

(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)

The mini-review:


acting 8

directing 8

writing 7

effects 9

editing 8

SW score: 40

4 out of 5 octopi

++ I am an old person so I remember when this movie was released on DVD (these are ancient discs that played films – pre-streaming). It was also the first time I owned a sweet TV and sound system. This movie was made to be felt. The sound was amazing. It shook the room. The chariots. The swords crashing against shields and armor. Throw in Ridley Scott’s typical steady hand and solid performances by all the principal actors (Joaquin Phoenix was badass then and still is, Russell Crowe was great but is mostly forgotten now) and a simple but visceral story of injustice met by bloody revenge and you have a fantastic popcorn flick (with a fair amount of brain, too).




(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.

(2) Octopuses (0-5 šŸ™, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)

(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feelingā€¦not that SW score is scientificā€¦but this one is even less so

(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)

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