(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)
(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)
Call Me By Your Name
SW score: 28
1.5 out of 5 octopi
++ It’s rare that a film infuriates me. I don’t know what the rest of the world saw. I suppose that makes me the blind man here. But I just can’t sympathize with the devastating sorrow that is a summer fling between wealthy ex-pats in their Italian villa. This self-indulgent (but well-acted to be sure) abortion fails miserably in creating relatable characters and congers parents who are wholly unrealistic.
(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.
(2) Octopuses (0-5 🐙, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)
(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feeling…not that SW score is scientific…but this one is even less so
(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)