Call Me By Your Name (2017) (mini-review++)


(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)

(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)

The mini-review:

Call Me By Your Name

acting 6

directing 5

writing 4

effects 7

editing 6

SW score: 28

1.5 out of 5 octopi

++ It’s rare that a film infuriates me. I don’t know what the rest of the world saw. I suppose that makes me the blind man here. But I just can’t sympathize with the devastating sorrow that is a summer fling between wealthy ex-pats in their Italian villa. This self-indulgent (but well-acted to be sure) abortion fails miserably in creating relatable characters and congers parents who are wholly unrealistic.




(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.

(2) Octopuses (0-5 šŸ™, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)

(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feelingā€¦not that SW score is scientificā€¦but this one is even less so

(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)

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