Why Hasn’t God Put Out An App?

Seriously. (Ok not seriously but I’ll diatribe if I want to) The God of three of the world’s major religions (Islam, Judaism, Christianity) is the same being. I don’t know if more and more Muslims are abandoning their faith but I can tell you that more and more Christians and Jews are becoming more and more secular. Granted there are some Christian sects that are growing and the same can be said for some Jewish sects as well. But the overall trend, particularly in Western developed nations, is moving towards secularism.

As an agnostic, that doesn’t bother me at all. It makes me happy. There isn’t enough time left in my life for me to write all the crimes committed by organized religion. So if these canals lose membership and influence: awesome!

But I do think there’s something out there that’s bigger than us that we can’t comprehend. I don’t know if it gives a shit about us. I don’t know if it’s omnipotent or omniscient. But while these three major religions differ on several important points, they all agree that their god IS omnipotent AND omniscient.

And all three say he’s a dude. I wouldn’t be upset about that ladies because even the most basic understanding of logic would ASSURE that an omniscient and omnipotent deity is evil.

Any deity or being that could stop the suffering of innocent people or animals and chooses not to (I don’t believe any of the three major religions I’m referencing indicate that their god does not have free will). I don’t care what bullshit logical rationalizations or “its a mystery” shit you wanna throw at me. At the end of the day, if their god can stop horrific evil and chooses not to, their god is not just partially complicit, their god is wholly complicit.

But let’s say their god exists. He knows he’s losing followers. If he had a Twitter account his PR advisors would be raising an alarm. If their god loves human beings (and these three religions all seem to indicate this) then he needs to up his game.

He needs to get on social media. Plenty of idiots put out apps. If their god can’t code he can always subcontract. The main thing he would need to do is make himself known so that he could get that verified status on Twitter. Being omnipotent, he should be able to throw out a dozen miracles or so and captivate the world. And once he has that press he can put out an app. He should make it a free app so he can get more downloads. But people would download it and they would check it all the time. And I bet they would spend more time on that app than they would in their respective places of worship.

Come on Abrahamic deity, I’m not asking you to eliminate horrific evil in the world. Obviously that’s your jam. But don’t you want more people doing what you think is right?

Or maybe you don’t want that at all. Maybe you think humanity is terrible. I’m on the same page. Maybe you just like torturing us terrible humans. That certainly would explain why you let tsunamis kill thousands or why you let things like slavery and the holocaust happen. You must really have a serious beef with humans. Again, I don’t blame you. If you were to try and list all the man made atrocities humans perpetuate on each other, you would probably go mad. And don’t get it twisted. I’m human myself and I’m absolutely on the terribleness spectrum. But all your holy leaders seem to say you’re better than us humans. So I’m asking you to prove it.

(And yes I’m very familiar with the whole “faith requires believing in something without proof” argument. Sell that shit to someone else. I was raised Catholic and I had faith for a long time. You don’t wanna know, or maybe it’s apparent, how that worked out for me. If their god was an employee and making humanity less evil and making less evil shit happen to humanity was his job, he would be doing a really terrible job. He should definitely be fired. Or at least written up.)

I’m not saying you can’t still torture us. But give us a shot to not be how we are. As much. Because how we are seems to really piss you off. Being pissed all the time can’t be good for you even if your are an omnipotent and omniscient being.

I can’t say I will start going to a place of worship. Or join one of the big established religion clubs. But I couldn’t live without my phone and there are billions just like me.

If you need help with the design or implementation, give me a shout.

In general I would recommend incorporating cash prizes and cats.


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