Why is that important to me?
Because the word ‘illness’ is explicitly negative. While the word ‘condition’ can be negative it can also be neutral and simply used as a way to describe a state of health.
I have been told I’m broken for over 26 years, or roughly 60% of my life.
I’ve been told this by my parents.
I’ve been told this by former friends.
I’ve been told this by current friends.
I’ve been told this by my sister.
I’ve been told this by my extended family.
I’ve been told this by many well-meaning mental health practitioners.
I’ve been told this by job applications.
I’ve been told this by clearance forms designed to measure my honor.
I’ve been told this by my religion.
I’ve been told this by every movie, tv-show, book, magazine, and essay that has ever touched on mental health.
All these things have told me that I am mentally ill.
I have an illness.
If you ask any scientist/researcher or physician who specializes in mental health about the how well the brain is understood in relation to how it generates and maintains and lessens “mental illness”, they will tell you that we know very little. We are skimming the surface when it comes to the seemingly infinite processes of the brain.
As no one can conclusively tell me how “mental illness” comes about or can give me a thorough physiological explanation of its nature, I am no longer going to use the term “mental illness”.
You can do whatever the fuck you want.
But I’m not going to hang myself anymore.
I’m sick and fucking tired of being told I’m broken.
I’m not broken.
I’m not a statistical outlier.
All the claims that I am less than are less than.
You cannot categorize what our best minds do not understand.
Put me in your fucking boxes.
I know who I am.
I’m not broken.
I have never been.