Ghosting: Cruel To Be Kind?

Reference materials:

1. romantic ghosting (roasting?)

2. platonic flavor (posting)

In the aforementioned posts, I asserted that ghosting is not really even rude anymore since people do it all the time nowadays- to friends, family, and non-platonic (I really have to think of a snappier adjective). I’m still good with that.

But the whole concept has been rattling around in my brain a lot lately (probably because I’ve had a spate of pretty significant ghostings done to me lately.) So beyond it being normal, I wanted to dig deeper and lay out more bullshit because that’s how I come to terms with neurotic thicket that sits inside my skull in place of a real brain.

I have some questions that have been rolling around my mind about ghosting:

1. Is it cowardly?

Sometimes. There have to be times when the ghoster is scared of the ghostee’s response. But young folks today probably ghost when they don’t give a damn about the ghostee’s response. So the answer is yes or no.

2. Is it laziness?

Nope. I’ve been tested and I’m in the 99th percentile for laziness. I can provide extensive professional and personal references to corroborate that statement. I’ve received multiple honorary doctorates in laziness from elite universities from across the globe and I never did a single thing to deserve them. In today’s texting dominated world, it takes probably 15 seconds to respond to someone and type something like “can’t talk now-I’ll hit you back ASAP”. As I’ve established above, I’m hella lazy and even I’m able to take 15 seconds. So yeah, it’s the height of laziness. Which I guess makes me respect it.

3. Is it honest?

This is a tough one. On the one hand, they say disregard is the opposite of love. So not responding is the clearest display of indifference. And that’s what ghosting usually is – utter neglect. On the other hand, see question 5 below.

4. Is it ethical?

Tricky. I’m not entirely sure what ethical means. I guess it means doing the right thing? But what the hell does that mean? Being honest can be cruel. But being dishonest is often classified as the wrong thing. My simplistic take is that telling someone you’re no longer interested in interacting with them IS ethical. But not telling them anything could well inflict some mental and emotional harm on them (if they cared about you). And that’s kind of a dick move. So I guess it’s kinda unethical? Can you be kinda ethical? Or is it like being pregnant?

5. Is it kind?

This is where I’m going well out on the theoretical bullshit edge, where I like to live. Is it possible that the ghoster actually is leaving the door open for future interaction? Because if they don’t explicitly state that they want nothing to do with the ghostee, they could conceivably reappear at some later date and act as if there was no offense committed and try to continue the relationship as if a pause never occurred? I’m probably (definitely) completely overthinking this but I have a feeling some people do this. But no reasonable person with an ounce of selflessness could possibly think this is anything but what it is: a selfish dick move. And that is not kind.

Case closed on the complex phenomenon of ghosting. At least until I overthink more and think of some more BS to sling.


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