Hotel Artemis (2018) (mini-review++)


(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)

(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)

The mini-review:

Hotel Artemis

acting 5

directing 5

writing 3

effects 5

editing 5

SW score: 23

2 out of 5 octopi


I kept wanting the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy to show up. Also, this might be the first time I’ve ever been disappointed by a Jodie Foster performance. This flick was full of cliches and tired conceits and subplots. I can’t even remember any of the action set-pieces which isn’t a good sign. I was entertained a little and it was a movie pass movie so at least I didn’t get burned with paying full price.




(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or special effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.

(2) Octopuses (0-5 šŸ™, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)

(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feelingā€¦not that SW score is scientificā€¦but this one is even less so

(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)

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