My Own Darkest Hour (redux)

For your consideration in any category:

Not my finest hour. I’m bald, fat, mostly unemployed, 43 years old and I live with my parents, who think I’m an Asshole, which, let’s be frank, I often am.

This week I pulled off the bachelor classic: instead of doing laundry I bought a five pack of boxer briefs. This is hallowed ground. I had gone through 4 pieces of my new couture when I decided that I STILL wasn’t ready to do laundry so I returned to the store and bought ANOTHER 5 pack of boxer briefs.

Just imagine a bald , male, fat , ugly, bearded version of Britney Spears singing Oops I Did It Again.

Actually please don’t do that.

But before I even opened my new pack of immaturity I was gripped with a powerful feeling of embarrassment and shame. Even though I’m an apostate now, I was raised in the catholic shitfuck tradition so I can generate guilt at an alarming rate. If only I could liquify it I would never need to buy gas for my car again.

Back to my shame. Despite having 6 brand new unused emblems of personal regression , I did my laundry.

Do you think Target accepts humiliation as a valid reason for returning merchandise?

Re: Blog Title today – Gary Oldman is great in Darkest Hour.


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