Barbarella (mini-review++)

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(If you’re curious, my review process. It’s also pasted at the end of this post. I don’t believe in Rotten Tomatoes. I just believe in me.)

(***all-purpose SPOILER ALERT*** there may be some in this review)

The mini-review:

Barbarella

9 acting

10 effects

9 directing

10 story

9 editing

SW score: 47

5 out of 5 octopi

++

I cannot even begin to give a remotely adequate description of this movie. Clearly, everyone involved in its production was incredibly high. I mean every single person in the crew and the creative team and the actors and everybody.

It’s incredible. I know they really didn’t do outtakes back then but if they did this movie would have to have trillions of them.

I won’t even attempt to comment on the effects. No words I could write would come close to doing them justice.

If sixties camp were a deity this film would be its avatar. This is the perfect distillation of cinematic lunacy and it’s perfect in every way.

I’m flabbergasted.

.

.

.

(1) Shark Wrighter (SW) Score: Based on a sum of 5 sub-scores (acting, directing, writing/story, effects: cinematography &/or animation &/or special effects, editing) with 1 being terrible and 10 being terrific.

(2) Octopuses (0-5 🐙, with 5 being fantastic and 0 being feces)

(3) Octopuses are my unquantifiable feeling…not that SW score is scientific…but this one is even less so

(4) ++ This optional section includes any incredibly *brilliant observations that don’t fit into simple quantitative slices like the scores and octopuses *(they are likely NOT brilliant)

 

 

 

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