I’m in a mood lately. I think it’s just being irritated that I’m sick. I’m a big fat whiny baby.
Anyhow, I work in an office space with pretty tight quarters. Think like 4 people to the equivalent space of 1 cubicle. I personally don’t care. I sleep in a twin bed. I have a half desk for my computer. I’m pretty sedentary. I don’t move much so I don’t need much space.
We had like 50 of us in 2 rooms for a while. Then they cut down to 25. Then they brought in 25 more from another site. It was like two tribes meeting and told they have to share the same land and they’ve never met each other.
I don’t like most of my coworkers. Frankly, I don’t like most human beings so it’s not a particularly unusual dynamic for me. I keep to myself at work and I get my work done and all the bosses are happy with my output. I’ve made friends with one person at the office. She also likes to keep to herself and doesn’t like most of the people in the office either. It’s kind of a miracle that we found each other since we both make concerted efforts to dissuade people from chatting with us.
She and I sit quietly and listen to our tunes and get our shit done.
At the end of yesterday’s shift, she gathered all her things and said “good night, everybody” to the room. Many people responded “good night!”
A lot of people in the office do this bye to the whole room. Obviously, I don’t. I don’t care that they do. I’m getting to why it’s relevant.
As soon as she was out of earshot, one of the new women snidely said, to the room, “now she’s good enough to talk to us?” It didn’t get a big laugh. But some did chuckle. Mostly fellow new people I would imagine.
The first thing that popped into my mind was “I fucking hate people.” I’m about to dive deep into a one line quip delivered from someone who I don’t know at all and lay my vengeance upon her.
So she was clearly annoyed by my friend’s manner. I guess sitting quietly and not bothering anyone is bad behavior? You know who else thought that was bad behavior? Every bully I ever had from kindergarten to 12th grade. My very existence, let alone my wihdrawn manner, was offensive to them and they made it well known. And people ask me why I don’t like (most) kids.
I’d peg this woman’s age in her 30’s. So she’s got the same mindset as an 18 year old bully asshole.
And I’ll give this to my bullies. I’m sure they talked shit about me behind my back but they also talked shit to my face. I was a scrawny wimp so it wasn’t a big courageous act but at least it was stated openly.
This snide, small minded little bitch waited until my friend was gone. I can assure you my friend is not like me. She would have definitely defended herself and I’m certain she would have verbally beat this bitch to the ground.
I talk shit about my coworkers behind heir back. But it’s for an actual unprofessional act: they chat loudly all data making it very hard to concentrate. The HR person will come in every 90 minutes or so and quiet them down but they start back up again within a few minutes. I’d fire the lot of them but it’s probably good I’m not in charge.
What incredible lack of self reliance does it take to be obsessed with a person who is just being quiet? Doesn’t she have better things to worry about? It seems, from her quip, that she thought my friend was being snooty. But they didn’t ask her any questions all day and they didn’t approach her. So not only are they stupid and rude, they are hypocrites who won’t be the gregarious, friendly people they expected my friend to be.
And the cherry on this shit sundae: my friend’s mom died last week. They’re brand new so they of course could not have known that. But not so fast. My point is that you never know what a person is dealing with.
Maybe you could elevate your nature to something above a cruel teenage boy’s?
I’m angry at that small bitch but I’m also angry with myself. Why didn’t I speak up and defend my friend? I am a well established coward and wimp so doing so would go against my nature. Also, it’s the workplace and I don’t need anything to disrupt the calm and easygoing rapport I have with my bosses.
I don’t think I’ll tell my friend about it even though it would be delightful to see her dress down that little coward.
A lot of you (the 5 who read this) might be thinking : what’s the big deal? People suck. Move on.
You’re right in a sense. But writing it out is my moving on process. Better out than in! Once I’ve written it down, I feel relief.
Aren’t you glad that you got to witness me relieving myself?