Not National Lampoon’s Vacation (Day 1)

I’m off from this morning until the witching hour on Sunday April 15th. Unfortunately for you, dear reader, I will not be taking time off from posting. This week will be a running journal of my antics and observations as specifically related to my vacation.

Well that’s the plan at least. I make no guarantees I’ll stick to it.

Day 1 takes place in northern Virginia and Washington DC. I started with a yoga class at 9:30 AM in Fairfax County. It was my 4th yoga class ever. I took my first three last week. It was vinyasa so the room was hot but not super hot. I love to sweat and just chill in those classes when I inevitably have to rest and hide in child’s pose. Another of the billion reasons society unfairly accommodates men is that the guys in the hot classes can go shirtless.i sweat bullets so I’m particularly grateful for this dress code.

I really have no ideas if the ladies would want to go topless in yoga class. I’ve never asked. I am pretty sure I should not ask.

Yoga is like learning a new language. The biggest obstacle is being willing to sound like an idiot for the first 6 to 12 months. In yoga, too, you’re learning a new language for your body. And you definitely have to be willing to LOOK like an idiot for several months.

Luckily I’m very comfortable looking and sounding like an idiot. I present this blog as evidence for the former but my dedication to my secret identity prevents me from posting photos of my glorious attempts at basic yoga poses. Also I’m pretty sure the other yoga students in the class would be really pissed if I tried to take yoga selfies.

Class was decent. I sweated a ton and was in child’s pose for 75% of the time. I’m trying out this very fancy yoga studio and it is not cheap but it IS wonderful. Their attention to detail is top notch.

I was very surprised to see so many people in the 9:30 AM class on a Monday. There was about 15 women and 3 men (including myself). One of the guys is one of the employees and he’s very nice and has answered a lot of my dumb questions. He’s one of those dudes who is good with the ladies. He’s tall, in great shape and good looking. About half of the women in the class went up to him after class finished.

I was really shocked the class was full. Do these people not have jobs? Are they all independently wealthy? Are they stay at home while their partner works? I shouldn’t have been surprised. It’s the DMV where people routinely make more money in one year than I make in 12.

Then I went to lunch at one of my favorite restaurants. I love it every time. It’s name is True Food and it’s a national chain and if you’re ever near one, you SHOULD go.

Then I went to Ted’s Bulletin because I wanted a pop tart and a coffee the only nearby cafe was packed. I had an itch for a cocktail and the bartender made me a great one and he gave it to me for free!

Then I went to see Blockers because I wanted to laugh and I am a big John Cena fan and watching a movie is more fun than job searching.

I ordered 12 ounces of Pinot Noir and settled in for the movie. I might end up taking an unscheduled nap but if that’s what he universe wants for me then I will accept it with the best grace I can summon.

Blockers was fun. Leslie Mann and John Cena are great as always.

Then I went to my favorite mexican restaurant with a buddy and we ate well and went to see Isle of Dogs (2nd time for me) which was awesome. Now I’m going to bed cause day 2 starts at 5:55 AM.

A very good start to what I shockingly believe (this optimism shit still doesn’t make sense to my mind, my or my soul) will be a most excellent vacation!

Party on dudes!

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