You Don’t Need An Invisible Asshole To Be Good

I used to know this asshole who would always say of atheists: “if you don’t believe in something you’ll fall for anything.”

I’ve heard that gem from a lot of religious folk who don’t like atheism. What they really mean is if a person doesn’t believe in their particular version of god then they are duped who can be easily fooled. Man those religious folks are fucking Assholes. They also like to say that religion brought morality and ethics to humanity. This is factually untrue.

If that were true, the roughly 1.1 billion non-religious people on earth would all be ravaging Huns. A PEW study showed 84% of the world identified with a religion (that doesn’t mean they actively participated in that religion, so don’t get excited). But isn’t it AMAZING that over a BILLION people can somehow, with their fair share of immoral folks as well, manage to tell right from wrong?

Anecdotally, one of my dearest friends was raised atheist and he’s a helluva lot more moral than I am.

If you look at some famous religious leaders, you could be disabused of the notion that religion brings about morality. Pope Francis oversaw a funeral mass for a cardinal that actively hid priests who raped and molested children. Billy Graham, an evangelical leader, who I hope is suffering in hell, was a bigot. Most conservative to orthodox Imams (and this isn’t a small number) support a strict patriarchal hierarchy. Hasidic Jews share the same sentiments on women in large respect with conservative Islam. The Catholic Church’s dogma still condemns homosexuality as a sin and says women cannot be priests.

If you’re an atheist or agnostic like me and someone bible beater tells you that you can fall for anything, make sure you close your fist properly before you punch them in the face.

I’m just kidding. Violence is bad. Unless they’re a nazi or white supremacist. Then punch those fucks.

But anyway keep on listening to your conscience and following the laws. You don’t need to pray to a god created by desert wanderers thousands of years ago.

Bonus: a bit of a statistical middle finger to the religious:

Which countries are more moral : less religious or more religious?

According to, these are, in orders of “goodness” the countries that do the least harm and bring the most benefit to the earth in general. Their methodology isn’t perfect but it’s perfectly fine for this post.

The results:

Let’s work with the top 10 on the list:








United Kingdom



(My homeland, the USA, comes in at #25)

The top ten LEAST religious countries (per Wikipedia)

(Link: )





Czech Republic


Hong Kong

United Kingdom



So 5 countries that appear on the LEAST religious list appear on the most good list. I do not think this is a coincidence.

May the Flying Spaghetti Monster bestow many blessings and favors upon you.

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