The Unequal Rights Amendment

I have been thinking about how much humanity sucks and there’s no shortage of reasons: war, genocide, racism, sexism, sectarianism, income inequality, the promotion of religion, environmental devastation, and the list goes on.

It would be nice to just have one giant epic asshole to blame for all these horrors but that’s not the world we live in. We are awash in an ocean of assholes. From the lowest untouchable to the pope of the Catholic Church. Assholes abound, have abound-ed and will continue to abound until the earth is hopefully destroyed by an advanced alien situation out of fear that our species might actually be able to reach other sentient worlds.

Humans all suck, to varying degrees. But we can’t put everyone on trial. So we have to narrow it down. Let’s take one country, my home, the United States of America, one of the leading asshole countries in the world (now led by potentially the biggest asshole in the world). The USA has had a disproportionate amount of influence on world affairs in almost every area. Has it used its power for good? Sure, often even. So has every other country. I’m not here to discuss its virtue. But has it committed unspeakable horrors? Definitely. I’ll name just 5 for example (not in any particular order):

1. Not admitting Jewish people who were fleeing Hitler’s Germany

2. Slavery

3. Interfering in various ways (military force, economic influence, etc) in the affairs of many countries, OFTEN with terrible results for the most vulnerable members of those countries’ populations.

4. Donald Trump

5. Privatization of health care

I could write several posts about each of those 5 items but suffice it to say: the USA has done MORE than its fair share of evil.

So whose been calling the shots for this asshole country of mine?

Mostly? White dudes.

Caucasians with dicks who are often dicks themselves.

The USA has been a country for over 300 years and if it isn’t evident to anyone with half a brain cell that this country is rife with injustice, amorality and skewed priorities, I am not gonna list all of that shit here. I would keel over dead before I finished listing the atrocities committed, encouraged and sanctioned by white men over the course of this country’s history.

When the Patriot Act was passed, critics rightly criticized it for infringing on the constitutional and civil rights of American citizens. But most Americans supported it because the whole nation was in a jingoistic lather over 9/11. The act’s supporters justified the encroachment on civil rights as justifiable and necessary because the threat of terrorism was so great that desperate measures were needed. Hell, it was nothing new. Even the beloved emancipator, Abraham Lincoln, suspended habeas corpus for a time.

So I am proposing letting a new hand take the reigns. I would like to propose an amendment that prohibits all white men from the right to vote or hold elected office at any level. I’m also encouraging the amendment to include the prohibition of any white male to hold any law enforcement or politically appointed position. But I am willing to wait on that goal.

You might say that violates the principles of this “great” nation. It sure does. No argument here. But after 300+ years of demonstrated evil in leadership, I think desperate measures are needed.

Now I’m not saying we should outlaw Republicans; not that I would oppose it. If the majority of non-whites want to support the party of most evil, godspeed the will of the people.

But I say it’s time to let women and non-Caucasian men a chance to run the show. Could they possibly do worse? I’m pretty sure the Native Americans wouldn’t think so. Or pretty much any ethnic minority. Or a religious minority. Or the 99% who are actually aware that they are being royally (and I use that adjective specifically because the screwing in question is absolutely totalitarian and/oligarchal in its nature) fucked by pitiless wealthy entities. Or Mother Nature. Or women. Or the citizens of the many countries in which the USA has installed or supported brutal, amoral dictators.

I’m even willing to throw my white male friends a bone. I’m open to negotiating some terms. We can lower your taxes since you’re an oppressed class. And we can set up enclaves where you can elect puppet white male governments that have no power over non-white male peoples. And since so many white men insist that mental health is the REAL issue (and nothing to do with the 300 million guns in circulation), we will also fund Mental health services to assist White men with the new reduction in their rights.

As a non-white male, you might say that this proposal is self-serving. I am willing to recuse myself from any politically appointed position or law enforcement position and I’m happy to give up my right to vote or hold any level of elected office. If my small sacrifice can help bring about the greater good, I am happy to stay at home on Election Day and rewatch Pulp Fiction and sleep in.

We need real change to save this world. And you white dudes* just are not, nor ever have, cut it.

*, of course, there are moral white men. And many of them have been excellent, just leaders and holders of the public trust. I’m willing to consider an appeal process in which any given white male can present his case for moral fitness. Like the bar for attorneys and its bullshit morality aspect (because you know that’s really effectively prevented any lawyers from being unethical). If an objective committee of non-white males agrees that a particular man has the right stuff, by all means, he should be allowed into the fold of the electoral world. The only thing is that the new leadership in this country has a lot of shit to fix after what you white dudes have done for centuries. And we’re gonna have to stretch every dollar. So we’re only going to be able to finance one committee for white male electoral appeals for the entire United States. I’m sure you understand. You made so many other groups wait for the facade of equal rights for decades and centuries in some cases. You don’t mind being patient, right?

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