The Night Is Dark and Full of Terrors

I was thinking about the idiom ‘In the dead of night’ so as is my wont, I googled origin of said idiom but I really didn’t find much. It goes back a long way; Shakespeare used it, even. The meaning, however, is pretty much agreed upon: the middle of the night, midnight, the quitest darkest part of the night.

So the phrase “it’s always darkest before the dawn”…

(which is one of my favorites and essentially one of the foundational philosophies that Alcoholics Anonymous is founded on – you’ll routinely hear that you have to hit rock bottom – you have to get your soul to its darkest hue – before you can really begin the 12 step progress to recovery)

…is horse shit. Cuz I don’t give two fucks about science (I am American after all!) and you can’t convince me that dawn comes right after midnight.

So it does make sense. If the night was a sentient being, and I don’t think it is.

(I hope it’s not. If it is I want to go on record to state that I am definitely afraid of ghosts…

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(cummings was much better at these punctuation acrobatics)

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I once saw a ghost at the Starwberry Banks Inn in southern Virginia.

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(My dear friend and serial gold fish killer, DG, insists I am stupid and it was just our friend J running to the bathroom to puke. I may have had half a bottle of vodka and a slew of other liquid shit but I know what I saw. DG can try and claim my recollection is ridiculous and fact less. But are you really going to take the word of an animal killer who wantonly, and despite being warned that fish can’t survive in boiling water, dumps a trove of innocent cousins of Nemo into their quick death. Or someone who has sustained head trauma? Or who has been officially cited by a fellow of an institution of higher learning for being a dumbass? Or who eats at Taco Bell multiple times a week and inisists it is healthy? Or who once chose to go on a 3 hour fishing store while blindingly hungover on a cold ass morning? Or whose accepted contact avatar is Nelix from Star Trek: Voyager? Or who doesn’t think the band Rush should be imprisoned for crimes against humanity? Or who agreed, in cold and calculating fashion, to kill two beloved pet fish and then claimed he was simply following orders? Is this the witness whose testimony you want to believe? Is this narrator of fish Genecide your true north? Can you, as good, decent, Nemo loving people, possibly give credence to this homicidal maniac’s recollections? Ladies and gentlemen and non-binary identifying persons of the jury: You know the answer to those questions. You know to trust your faithful scribe who labors to bring you the unadorned truth despite all the ghost skeptics in the world trying to undermine me.)

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I’m also scared of things that go bump in the night and if the night were a being I would absolutely think that being was cool and worthy of fear.)

-er-

And I’m also shit ass scared of looking into any dark window at night and having some horrific creature suddenly appear and make me poop my pants.

So anyhow I think it’s a good phrase. Ghosts are dead. The sun is the most dead at that position in the night sky. Most animals and people over 30 and under 13 are asleep. Only the worst kind of monsters (and I ain’t talking about the supernatural creatures) are lurking at those hours.

Again I have take a simple premise and supremely fucked it. I need to plan better.

Bye bye for now, true believers!

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