At the end of the day when I am laying in the dark in bed, with only the soft glow of my cell phone reminders washing over my face every few minutes, the same thought comes to my mind: Am I a good person who has done bad things or am I a bad person who has done many good things? I just don’t think I can be grey (bad & good nature). Even though I believe most people are.
I know the bad good stuff is a simplistic dichotomy and reeks of that NRA speech. Personally I’d like to shove Wayne LaPierre into a tank of piranhas. Except I think if those piranhas ate him they would get violently ill because it can’t be healthy to consume pure evil. And really, what did those fish ever do to deserve it?
I even make this plaintive prayer most nights. I’ve tried to distill it down to the most selfless 8 words I can think of because I really do mean it.
Is it possible to change my very nature? Can a scorpion transform into a frog or vice versa? Where’s Professor Minerva McGonagall when you need her? I don’t know what’s beyond the horizon.
But I’m going to try my best (which is not my standard operating procedure). What are my odds? You want to lay some action? F*ck if I know.
I just fantasize that there is some kind of indescribable being that our tiny human brains cannot comprehend (like trying to explain a car to an ant). I tease my soul with the notion that this entity watches over our species
I want it to believe in redemption. I pray it cares.