For your consideration in any category:
Not my finest hour. So I’m bald, fat, mostly unemployed, 43 years old and I live with my parents who think I’m an Asshole, which, let’s be frank, I often am.
This week I pulled off the bachelor classic: instead of doing laundry I bought a five pack of boxer briefs. This is hallowed ground. I had gone through 4 pieces of my new couture when I decided that I STILL wasn’t ready to do laundry so I returned to the store and bought ANOTHER 5 pack of boxer briefs.
Just imagine a bald , male, fat , ugly, bearded version of Britney Spears singing Oops I Did It Again.
Actually please don’t do that.
But before I even opened my new pack of immaturity I was gripped with a powerful feeling of embarrassment and shame. Even though I’m an apostate now, I was raised in the catholic shitfuck tradition so I can generate guilt at an alarming rate. If only I could liquify it I would never need to buy gas for my car again.
so back to my shame. Despite having 6 brand new unused emblems of personal regression , I did my laundry.
Do you think Target accepts humiliation as a valid reason for returning merchandise?
